The Way of the Heart

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I hate the way that I love you

I hate being so weak, so vulnerable

All my barriers, you have them breaking apart

You didn’t even have to walk around them seven times

To make them crash down

 

I hate the way that I love you

Your every look, your every smile

Fills my empty heart with new emotions

Like a pot that has yet to be fired, you still fill me up

And I slowly break apart

 

I hate the way that I love you

How your words wrap around me

The way your voice melts into my ears

A sweet melody that I wish to sing along to

With my tainted lips

 

I hate the way that I love you

To have your touch unravel me

Offering a sweet escape to beautiful things

Relieving my burdened body from all my cares

A cleansing of my soul

 

 

I hate the way that you love me

And to wonder why you decided that

It should be me to direct your affections to

With so many other women to choose from

You decide to love me

What They’ve Done

Hebrews 6

 

I wonder if they realize what they’ve done

How they destroyed my life even before it began

Their actions in the past forever changing mine in the present

 

I wonder if they realize what they’ve done

If they realize how much they’ve influenced my life

When they were never present at all

 

I wonder if they realize what they’ve done

Placing the sky upon my small shoulders

The pressure stressing me till I cracked

 

I wonder if they realize what they’ve done

How it all eventually exploded

Nearly causing me to push myself of the edge

 

I wonder if they realized what they’ve done

When I wandered about a hollow corpse

Searching for a spring to fill me up

 

I wonder if they realize what they’ve done

That though they never known me

Because of them I found eternal hope

Goodbye Felicia!

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Do you know how many tears for you I’ve cried?

How much my soul inside of me has died?

Now you come back wanting to be my friend,

Long after all of my tears have dried?

 

I don’t want anything to do with you,

You used me as an engineer does a tool.

You take me as a fool to get tricked once more?

It’s too late; I’ve thrown all those feelings out the door.

 

I’ve grown so much from the harm you’ve done to me

So don’t act like you were the persecuted one when I was the one dying.

I thought I was helping you up, when in reality you were dragging me down.

So goodbye, have a nice life; never again do I want to see you around!

Familiar Smell

front-door

Why does this house smell so familiar?

Making me nostalgic of my home so far away,

Bringing me faint memories of yesterday.

 

Why does this house suddenly smell so familiar?

In this new place that I am destined to stay,

With no hope of seeing my home again.

 

Why did the house start smelling so familiar?

Into my slumber it penetrates, permeates;

Remembering summer, thoughts I had left to deteriorate.

 

When I wake up the smell is gone,

And all that I have left to remember it,

Is fading away with the morning mist.

And Yet Even So…

Red string of fate hands

Your love for me is patient and kind

But the only love I could give is painful and blind.

You’re on a stairway to heaven; trying to pull me inside

But I am on a highway to hell; the toll booth far behind.

You just want to be with me, by my side

But every feeling I’ve chosen to destroy and hide.

You dove deep to discover my personality

But I hate how you uncovered every part of me.

You and me happening was an accident

But it is on purpose the way I am ending it.

Your theories and statements were all honest, through and through

But you didn’t have to lie to me, to make me believe they were true.

You always look forward; wanting to know what will come to pass

But I am always too busy looking backward; trying to forget the past.

You are free and love that freedom, I can tell

But I want to control that freedom, even though I am free as well.

You are always so thoughtful, a wonderer at heart

But I am an avenger, with a rebellion to start.

Your love for me is tender, understanding and true

But my love is intense, complex and it will devour you.

And yet even so, we are still falling hard for one another

A mere shadow attracted to the light of the other.

Love so intense, that our differences meant nothing in its face

Like Pyramus and Thisbe, our love is doomed to a tragic fate.

We are tangled together, by the red string of fate; there seems no escape

But I, in order to save you; I will cut those strings away.

Yes, You Do

Will-o-wisps

Why does your every word relieve me?

The sound of your voice soothes me, so much that it makes me cry.

Yes, it makes me cry; for I know that because of my sins I do not deserve them.

 

Why do your beautiful dark eyes heal me?

They enchant me, like the will-o-wisps of the woods.

Yes, they lead me astray, and off the path I have been exiled to.

 

Why does your smile spread joy through me?

Your smile is so bright that it burns me right into my core.

Yes, it burns me; my dark stained soul smolders  I can no longer see.

 

Why does your warmth accept me?

It makes me feel desired, and I know that it must be a lie.

Yes, it must be; for you love everyone equally, regardless of who they are.

 

Why does your heart so persistently seek after me?

My heart aches; I wonder if you know what you are doing right now.

Yes, I ran from you once to save your light; only now I realize that you have followed mine.

Anticipation

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I poured out my soul

Told you everything

I expected it to turn out like this.

 

Still I caved in

And let the words flow out

Though I expected it to turn out like this.

 

The wallowing misery

That encompassing doom

Even I expected it to turn out like this.

 

Still I hoped

That you would take it

But I expected it to turn out like this.

 

I poured out my soul

You rejected all of it

And I expected it to turn out like this

So why can’t I stop crying?