Never Loved

Can you say that you actually loved him

With all those men that you’re rolling through,

Those comments you’re posting on the internet,

The unprecedented shade you’re throwing,

Blasting on him to whoever who will listen?

Good girl gone bad my bootylicious ass,

You were that way right from the start.

The way that you carry yourself tells me different,

You never really loved him to begin with.

 

 

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Waves of Misery

The waves of misery come towards me in waves

I stand on the shoreline, watching them go in and out

Some days the waves come, only barely soaking

The tips of my toes and the edges of my sole

Other days it comes rushing into me

Splashing roughly against my legs, soaking my torso

Today, the tide has come in slowly

Creeping, seeping into my clothes

Rising higher and higher up my body

Until it went over my head, enveloping me

Yes, drowning even now as it’s over my head

That’s how mesmerized and traumatized I am

By the waves that have taken you away from me

Scene #1

“Is there anything else,” he said gruffly,

“Anything else that I should know?”

Looking deep into my eyes

Those green eyes I had loved

“Shawn and I,” tearfully I said

“I know,” he said and in that instant

I regretted that this curt, analytical,

Forceful man, was exactly

What I had asked for- what I wanted.

Eyes Like Heavy Rain

Feelin’ a little nostalgic

Feelin’ pretty crazed

Feelin’ a little lethargic

Feelin’ pretty dazed

Got me thinkin’ about eyes like John Wayne

While I’m starin’ with my sight glazed

Cause standin’ here in this November rain

Reminds me of what it was like with you babe

Wholly

Is it possible, to pour oneself into another

As a vessel that just keeps flowing and giving:

Slowly tilting till the mouth is straight,

Parallel to where the bottom once was,

Only then to realize that you’re now empty?

 

Yes, now I realize that things don’t work that way,

You can’t give yourself unconditionally

And expect to remain wholly same.

Pained

I thought concealing the truth was best

Kept hidden in deep darkness was laid

Let those secrets never see light again

If I keep them all there

Then you would never have to hurt

For your or my sake

So why are things so complicated?

In your eyes I only see pain

You want me to bring them to light

But I’ve resolved to keep them out of sight

I do want to let you have your way

Yet don’t cause I can’t stand your tears

If you knew you’d hurt so much more

However would this actually hurt you

When I’ve already pained

Your heart so many times before?