Ineffective

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You stepped down and became my saving grace,

Away you have wiped the tears on my face,

From darkness you have pulled me into this place,

My unhappiness you continue to erase,

But now I can no longer write as I did once before,

So was the joy worth it to become a disgrace?

 

To the Text Not Sent

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I love you

Such a simple phrase

It’s a refrain

Inside my brain

That hinders

My interactions

With you

 

To be honest

I have tried to say

Texts a day

Calls unclaimed

Go innumerable

The distance

Unbridgeable

 

On and on

I lament

The text not sent

The time that left

Never will be

Mine again

I want you

i want you

 

I want you so simply

Your eyes

Your sillyness

Your smile

Your laugh

I long to be together

With you again

 

I want you so intensely

Your breath

Your whispers

Your warmth

Your touch

I long to be together

As one with you again

 

I want you so emotionally

Your steadyness

Your peace

Your guidance

Your kindness

I long to be together

Just with you again

 

I’m waiting

To be

Together

With you

Again

Till we are reunited

I’ll be missing you

In Due Time

in due time

The only thing that comforts me

As we’re divided by this great space

Is that the time that we will be reunited

Approaches with the turn of every day

Wrapped up in each other’s arms

We’ll forget about all this pain

We can grasp time by its slippery sides

So that it will stay in its place

 

But oh, what a small comfort it is

When my brain attacks me on all sides,

My family into enemies became,

All my allies have turned against me

Those who I once called “friend”

Have all run away

 

So, this is what loneliness is

The feeling of the reeling

The emptiness revealed

That had been once concealed

I knew loneliness before

But it hurts even more

Because I got used to

Living in the light with you

 

I’m attacked constantly

For myself I feel empathy

It’s becoming so hard to see

The end of the tunnel and I begin to feel so

Hopeless

Though inside I know it isn’t

Hopeless

And I try not to feel so

Hopeless

So I scream desperately inside

Trashing blindly about, trying to not die

Doing anything I can to keep alive-

 

As I cry myself to sleep at night

I try to comfort my tears with the light

That shines from your warm dark eyes

Which in my memory still shines bright

Since I can’t see them, I fantasize

For you I find reason to try

To continue this dismal life

Cause I know, that I’ll

Be with you in due time

For In Silence

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These words we write
Are written in silence
The laughter once there
Has been taken

In silence we write
These words of longing
Of desperation
For each other

The more words I write
The more you do
Thoroughly filled with
Our memories together

Yes in silence we write
But not in sadness
Rather full of hope
Aspirations of tomorrow

We send these words
Through the silence
A connection between us
Staring into destiny

Fake A Smile

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I’ll never forget the way it felt when

His stubbled chin grazed the back of my neck

Or the way that his chest expanded

With his each and every breath

 

Neither will the marks of other people

Nor will time make my memory fade

Of the warmth I felt wrapped in his arms

And the heat I felt in his strong gaze

 

I wish that he was here with me

By my side through the passing of time

But I know that is impossible to ask for

So I’ll just fake a smile and pretend that I’m fine