Haiku 13

I can't be who you
are, but it doesn't mean that
I can't try to be
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Self-deprecation

Writing used to be my escape

A tonic to heal me when I felt faint

Now I realise that it was a trick of fate

To catch me blinded in my head-strong trait

Deceived to think that it would be an open gate

Only to realize that I’ve rushed in− I’ve taken the bait

That’s why now, my very soul is the one that I most hate

To Haha はは

I’m penniless

On my knees

Bones bout to break

Panting, wheezing

Time fading away

It’s hopeless, useless

No reason to keep

On living if this is

The only way

.

.

.

But then you come

You were there for me

Before anyone knew my beginning

You carried me

Nursed me to strength

Clothed and fed me

When I had nothing to give

You gave me reasons and purposes

To continue to live

.

.

.

Thank you Haha,

For giving me everything

And expecting nothing

In return

Are You Really You?

Why can’t I move forward?

Can I never let go of you?

You are still a constant

On the tangents of my thoughts.

But why do you linger on?

Is it because of that indecision

So many years ago

That continues to haunt me

Those unresolved feelings

And emotions have come to rot

And decay in the empty wasteland

Of my bitter heart?

Or is it because that

I nursed those wistful feelings

For so many years and

When the chance came to

Reveal all those harbored secrets

I only discover that you’ve

Become someone that I don’t know?

Who are you now?

Where have your feet taken you?

Who are you anymore?

Are you really you?