Pained

I thought concealing the truth was best

Kept hidden in deep darkness was laid

Let those secrets never see light again

If I keep them all there

Then you would never have to hurt

For your or my sake

So why are things so complicated?

In your eyes I only see pain

You want me to bring them to light

But I’ve resolved to keep them out of sight

I do want to let you have your way

Yet don’t cause I can’t stand your tears

If you knew you’d hurt so much more

However would this actually hurt you

When I’ve already pained

Your heart so many times before?

Are You Really You?

Why can’t I move forward?

Can I never let go of you?

You are still a constant

On the tangents of my thoughts.

But why do you linger on?

Is it because of that indecision

So many years ago

That continues to haunt me

Those unresolved feelings

And emotions have come to rot

And decay in the empty wasteland

Of my bitter heart?

Or is it because that

I nursed those wistful feelings

For so many years and

When the chance came to

Reveal all those harbored secrets

I only discover that you’ve

Become someone that I don’t know?

Who are you now?

Where have your feet taken you?

Who are you anymore?

Are you really you?

Cut Off

cut off.jpg

Staring at these messages

Reading your lines over

And over

And over again

Doesn’t make you hurt less

Doesn’t stop your steadily growing pain

Makes me feel more and more helpless

Can’t even give you a hug

Can’t even lend a shoulder

Cut off in-between

And I

Can’t do a thing

Yes

I can’t stop the pain from increasing

Just

Watch the love bleeding

Your

Lonely soul weeping

All I can do is offer these hollow words

On a silver platter

Across an illuminated screen

And hope that they mean something

When I really know

That they won’t change a thing

Yes, they can’t change anything

 

Cracking

kitsune mask.jpg

 

She stares at me; eyes piercing,

Into my tell tale heart revealing,

“Why are you so sad?”

She asks, with eyes so clear.

I can’t stand it that she’s so near.

The distance between us

Hasn’t dulled her senses one bit.

Behind my smiling, masked face

She can see the turmoil and disgrace,

I can’t help but fill with hope:

She can be my saving grace.

But I glance to the side and see her,

The one who took my place.

The one who had stolen that position.

Against her I hold no regrets,

Only that I had let myself forget

In a couple of blessed, cursed seconds,

That I no longer have the right to covet

Her time and company.

Our friendship; no longer as strong

As deep, as intertwined,

As in love as it once was.

I feel myself breaking as I say,

“I’m just tired; that’s all.”

I laugh it off on the outside

As I wail and weep on the inside.

She stares back at me

And I can see her soul

Cracking at my dishonesty.

Why For You

fallen ballerina

 

I thought I could trust you

I gave my all to you

Layed out my heart to you

Sacrificed my time for you

My limited life for you

Lay down and died for you

But now I see you

For who you are, yes you

And you used me, yes you

All this time did you

After all this time I think of you

And finally I wonder,

“How did I ever love you?”

Just A Little Faith

Ephesians 2 4-5

Cold belt around her throat
She’s beginning to choke
She sees stars and her vision clouds
She recalls his mocking face in the crowds
The pressure in her head exploding
Her brain is close to imploding
Her loneliness is tearing her apart
She hears silent whispers to her heart
Saying,
I love you
I love you
She screams
You never loved me at all
The whispers louder
I Love You
I Love You
She cries
You tricked me; so that I should crawl
The whispers intensify more
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
She releases and falls on the floor
He was the one who tricked her
He was the one deceived her
He never told her he loved her
Her heart made no sense at all
Why would it tell her these words
From someone who never gave his all?
And only then did she realise
Her heart was not trying
To trick her through his lies
It wasn’t him who hurt
Tricked and tossed her aside
But it was actually He
Speaking truth and true love
That he bought for her
With his own precious blood
He loved her
He loved her
He loved her
He wanted to save her
No matter the cost
That’s why he gave up his life
And died on that cross
How can it be, she cried
For my life for you to save
He tells her very softly
Only through grace
And it all can be yours
With just a little faith